Resting or Reclining
The past couple of weeks have been much more different than I had anticipated. Due to a whole lot of change and a bittersweet season of growth, my husband and I made the drastic decision to close one chapter at the Recovery clinic I've working at for a year and a half, and open a new chapter of being a stay at home wife, and small business owner.
I say that it was drastic because, though Jay and I had spoken about the possibility of transitioning from work to home in the nearby future (more like the end of the summer), we hadn't planned for it to be this soon. After the launch of this website, Jay and I quickly realized that I wasn't in a good place emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually ; I desperately needed rest. So, we embraced the unknown, took a leap of faith, and together made the decision for me to take a full month of rest.
While I can admit that this past month has been refreshing for me, it's also been very enlightening for my business. I've come to realize that though I transitioned to be a stay at home wife, that doesn't necessarily mean that I am by all means ready to take on my business full time. Nor does it give me an excuse to recline comfortably and spend all of my time hanging out by myself- which is very easy to do for this introverted gal!
During my time of rest, I learned a couple things that I've compiled into two sentences. My hope is that it brings much enlightenment and encouragement to you, as it did to me.
I am so guilty of feeling weak and horrible for resting. During the first couple days of "rest," there were many times where guilt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy would cloud my thoughts.
I felt guilty because I had left the weight of income all on my husband. As I would scroll down Instagram and see my rockstar maker friends kicking booty while working with excellence, though I celebrated their success, I felt inadequate in my craft, weak in my spirit, and discouraged as a wife.
The first days of rest were more like dieting.
As I began to detox, I recognized how consumed I was in everything around me but, myself. Yes, I felt guilty, and weak with a hint of stupid; but I knew that it was deeper than that. I was running on e (empty) with no gas, and no money. I needed to be still, I needed to rest.
I knew that I couldn't be fully present, or give my best self to anything (even lettering) if I had no rest.
I needed to reset, recharge, and to be refreshed- and that is nothing to be feel bad about.
Resting is not a punishment, in fact, its a reward.
I remember starting this diet last year with my co-workers and completely struggling to stay away from sweets. (More like the sugar for my coffee) I remember being so frustrated with the diet and almost caving into some sugar. Then my manager said, "I substituted the sugar with heavy whipping cream and honey." -YUCK! ( I stuck with tea and honey.) But, I learned something,
in order to move forward, rather than extracting, one must substitute.
My first days officially out of work consisted of sleep, food, and binge watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy and This is Us. About seven days into it, I felt even more exhausted, emotionally drained, and discouraged.
Why? Because instead of resting, I was more like reclining. I was getting extra comfortable with staying in my pjs and doing absolutely nothing.
Now, to decompress after a hard days' work, or even after just a long week is fine; but, when you are waking up to do nothing, see nobody, and sleep, that's not cool. It leads to emptiness, lack of passion, depression, and absolutely zero motivation. And that's where I was.
Rest isn't just found in sleep. Rest can be found in the simplest things from bubble baths (with those cool bath bombs), to spending some time outdoors, to lettering...ahem.
Soon after I began to pursue rest with the intentions of practicing self care, I began to feel motivated, encouraged and in high spirits. I am still learning on how to properly include rest in my daily regimen but, I can say that when I realize that I'm spending a whole lot of time sitting down scrolling down Instagram, I turn my phone on airplane mode, listen to a podcast off my laptop, and start cooking, or picking up things in the house to keep me moving. I make it a goal to go outside at least once, and have challenged myself to work outside of my bedroom; whether it be in the living room, or a local coffee shop.
I love this quote,
As someone who's experienced serving on empty, I can say that it has absolutely no use. There is nothing more important than filling up and taking care of you to be able to fill up and encourage others. I hope that if you are in a place in which you recognize that you need to hit up the gas station and fill up, that you remember that it is okay to rest, and that to rest doesn't necessarily matter catching zz's.
Snag yourself a resting reminder, with a free calligraphy phone lock screen, made for you!
To download you can right click and save on computer, or tap on the image and save it to your phone!